Final Project

My final project is a reflection on how I have grown more self confidence over the course of the year. English has always been a class where I was nervous about sharing my writing and my opinions. This year I did not really have an option whether or not I wanted to share my work with others, I needed to through my blog. I feel like I have grown into a stronger person as well as student. It sounds weird to say this but I would always tell my teachers that I have learned from them, but I think that it is something inside that kind of clicks eventually, and you can't rush that. This term I felt that click. It didn't take me the usual hour and a half to sit and write a paragraph, or the really long and tedious hours to read a book. This year english was more enjoyable and was more of something I looked forward to coming to rather than a class with assigned projects. My Project is going to be two sheets of paper and one of symbols of me from the beginning of the year and one at the end of the term of the more confident me.

On Religion

I wouldn't consider myself a very religious person, but I am tied to my religion socially. Growing up I went to a Jewish preschool, hebrew school, sunday school and more. After my Bat Mitzvah I thought I was going to be done with temple and was pumped. After that I realized that there was a deeper meaning then just scribbles that looked like doodles on paper. I had a community that was completley different than my school community and sports community. We all had one thing in common and that was being Jewish. I feel a sense of comfort knowing that there is a place like my temple where I can always have someone who is there if I ever need help. I feel differently approaching my peers there then I do in some other places. Being involved in a religious community is not for everyone, but I know that it has helped me grow more of an understanding for other religions, ad how to approach certain things that I have been faced with. Unlike a lot of people who go to temple and pray, I don't believe in G-D, therefore I don't believe that there is someone or something that can solve problems and issues. But religious venues are there to give guidance to those who seek it.

On Beauty

Beauty is viewed in different ways. The mind quickly thinks of inner and outer beauty. The eye is drawn to make assumptions of the outer beauty, and this normally means that we are judgmental. In the Prophet beauty is talked about not being a need, but bringing happiness. To me this is sort of confusing, because a lot of people today believe that to be happy, being beautiful is very helpful. One of my favorite quotes from this section is "It is not a mouth thirsting nor an empty hand stretched forth, but rather a heart inflamed and a soul enchanted". This talks about how beauty is more for the inner soul and yourself rather than to please others and less about the physical sense of beauty. I think a lot of people worry and have self esteem issues with beauty, and if society can let go of this more people will view beauty in a different way, shape, or form.

On Time

I feel that the topic of time is so weird to think about. During the day I just think about time as how much time we have left of class, or how much time till lunch, I cant wait till 5:30 till practice is over. But in the long scheme of things, life evolves over time and we don't normally think about it in that sense. Once the day is over it is old news and we only dream of the next day, and the days to come. Time just keeps going and going and no one stops to take in the present and what is going on. We read about history in school, and I think very little of the population thinks about how generations ahead could be learning about us. Which is strange to think that there is life after us. But time doesn't stop and take a pause when we want it to. It will continue on whether or not we like/ want it to.

On Friendship

Friends mean the world to me, and I rely on them so much. This chapter touches on the different ways a friend has impacts on ones life. "Friends are your needs answered", this quote shows that friends fill the empty space of what you need/want and are there to help guide you towards the path of being filled. A friend is also a feeling, you don't need to have them right at your side every minute of every day to be able to feel the comfort of a friend. You can feel a friend through spirits as well states the Prophet. Although friends are there for support, they cannot fill the emptiness that one feels, they can help with needs, but not what is missing from ones life. I know personally I go to my friends for support with everything and I hope that they have my back with things when I am in a time of need. Reading this passage makes me think back to what I look to my friends for, and if some of the things that I assume they help me with are okay for me to look to them for.

On Teaching

In most of society we learn from going to school and from what our teachers teach us. They feed us their knowledge of the subject and we are told to memorize that and take what we are given and run with it. In the Prophet, the teacher says that you cannot be given understanding you have to learn from your own knowledge of topics. All your knowledge is already in your head, just asleep. I thought that this was a cool way about thinking about minds and the information that we know. Except when I reread these couple lines, it made me think that if I am not so smart in a certain topic, that I am unable to understand information that is not already known. There is so much out in the world that I do not know about, but someday hope to learn. The teachings that everyone else can teach me and I can learn from seems to go a little bit against the Prophet, but my vision of knowledge can be different then my peers, family, and friends.

Yoga Practice 11/5/10

The second time that we practiced yoga was more enjoyable than the first time. The first time was filled with laughter and confusion and just took some getting use to. My body normally isn't use to the movements that yoga forces my body to do. This time I was able to hold the poses better and have more balance. I liked the poses where we had one knee in front of us bent, and the other leg stretched out behind us. Normally, during meditation I get somewhat antsy and find it rather difficult to drop in and let my mind have no thoughts, but after yoga it was very easy. I was able to sit still and barely think of anything. This was a breath of fresh air and gave me the confidence that it is not impossible to sit and meditate.

On Pain

I think pain is hard to write about because pain feels differently for each individual. The line "Much of your pain is self-chosen", is very true. You can make any situation into a negative one, and it is the way you let it overcome your body and your emotions. There is an interesting twist when it talks about a physician being able to heal your pain, when in reality I believe that no one else can heal your pain except for yourself. Although, if the pain you have can relate to the physician they can use their personal experiences to help guide you with their sacred tears. Pain is a very personal thing that everybody takes differently, it hits some people and throws them a curveball and it affects everything around them. Some people are strong enough to fight pain like its no big deal and keep living life without putting anything on hold. This chapter I think relates to everyones pain no matter which level you are feeling.

On Reason and Passion

In my mind, passion always comes before reasoning. If I show passion in something it is nearly impossible to have my mind sway my decisions. This chapter uses the metaphor of a sailboat with a rudder and sails as what directs your passion, and how it can be untamable if let loose. You should use reasoning to direct your passion on a guided path, but sometimes this is not possible. It is a battle in yourself to fight each side, to realize which one should take priority. For example on a sports field, you need to use both reason and passion. My passion for the game drives me to want to win and shows a competitive side of me, but you have to use your mind and reasoning to not be selfish and use the rest of your team to achieve your personal goal of a victory. This is a time when I am able to use both reason and passion on a balanced level.

On Joy and Sorrow

I love the way that this section opens up when it says "Joy is your sorrow unmasked". This is an interesting way of viewing the two emotions together. I personally feel that the two are not really linked, because during the times of sorrow I find no joy anywhere near me. I think that when someone is upset, nothing else seems like it can dig you out of that dark whole and as if joy is far far away, not just sleeping directly next to you. In my life there is either one or the other it is hard to be in the middle of joy and sorrow. I am confused how the Prophet keeps saying that they are inseparable, because obviously you get different feelings from both emotions and learn different things. It takes a lot to switch over your mood to make one hold a greater weight than the other.

Things To Do Before I Die.

Road trip across the country.

Make a difference in someones life.

On Giving

Giving is part of everyday life. Some people give without being told and some give with hesitancy. People believe it is the same wether you have been told or not, but in the big picture it makes a big difference. It says "those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward. And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism". Giving isn't going to have the same feeling of satisfaction if you aren't happy with what you have done. Every person is deserving of something, and to not give because you believe that they don't need to be helped is selfish. In the Judaism we have mitzvah, and you normally know that it is the right thing to do, and give without being told. You feel such a sense of empowerment by helping others wether they are in need or not.

On Children

To be honest, I really didn't understand the first part of this chapter. "Your children are not your children", to me this doesn't make sense because we are our parents children. I do think this gives us an interesting twist on how our parents house our bodies but not our souls, because we decide who we as individuals want to be. In society I think that we have a mapped out path that our parents envision us taking, but we have to power and the reins on life to decide which turn to make and which decision to make. Some parents struggle to recognize that they cannot make the decision for their children because they want to be there every step of the way and holding their hands. I think that there are different ways of interpreting different parts of this passage, and it will mean something different to each different reader.

On Marriage

Everyday of being married there is something new to learn. You have to give and take from the marriage otherwise it is like you are living one life as two people. You have to take what knowledge your spouse knows and use it in your own life and vice versa. Marriage is thought to be this bond that should never be broken, and once married the couple should never leave the other spouses side. Part of being married says the prophet is to give that space, but not too much space. How much space I believe is the question that everyone asks. "Till death do us part", is the known phrase that the newly weds always say, but here it says once dead you shall still be together. You want to make sure not to overstep boundaries and cross into the shadow of your loved one.

On Love

The first chapter of The Prophet goes in depth about a topic that many people only dream about. Being in love always seems like it is impossible to obtain. Being in love you hear about in fairy tales and to me it seems like it is far into the future. The part in the first section where it reads "But if in your fear you would seek only loves peace and loves pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of loves threshing-floor" I believe is what a lot of society today believes being in love is really about. All the sappiness and mushy gushy is what I think love is truly about, but I think that there is hardships that until you are fortunate to be "in love" you really wont know the lowest lows that come from love.

I think that this chapter is a nice way to end east meets west. This seems like a guideline to life in 60 pages, which you don't really see very often, because most people are scared to touch on the topics where people get emotional.

Prompt 17

"Indeed, the divinites,

satisfied by sacrifice,

will give you desired pleasures.

Without giving back to them,

one who enjoys these gifts

is only a thief". (60)

I think that this passage of the Gita shares a very important lesson. Throughout all my years of going to sunday school and confirmation class we are always told to do Mitzvah. Mitzvah is basically just doing good deeds, and helping other people besides yourself. This quote says exactly this, you cannot enjoy gifts without giving back, and if you do, then your a thief. In Judaism we are not told we are thieves but you wont feel the same accomplishments as if you were to do mitzvah. This quote I thought explained the message in a way that makes you almost feel guilty for not helping others, which I think is a little bit extreme.

Prompt 16

"When the mind constantly runs

after the wandering senses,

it drives away wisdom, like the wind

blowing a ship off course". (59)

To me this quote can have different interpretations. Some people can relate to this when they can't focus and the mind just wanders off from what one is suppose to be doing at that moment. Others might think that this quote means that when you are unsure about making a decision you end up making a decision that is not what you originally wanted to do because you over thought it.

This speaks to me because I personally have a difficult time with making decisions. Decisions as little as what to eat for dinner, to which college I want to apply to early. These race around my head and I tell myself that there are negative reasons for every decision. The path that I sometimes tell myself I want to take, gets disturbed by everything that is going on in every day life. Just like in the Gita is says that the wind blows the ship off the course, I think every person sometime in their life gets blown off course, and this is a hurtle that everybody has to deal with and find out how to get back on the path that they started for themselves in the beginning.

Honors Prompt 5

Mitchell mentions stopping time in the Gita. In reality though, there isn’t any time during the time of a battle to stop and pause time to have conversation this also happens in the Secret Miracle. Hladik first mentioned time when talking about how much time he had left to live, “Six more nights to come”(145). The feeling about how time can feel like it doesn’t move when you are sleeping mirrors what Mitchell says when time is moving in slowmo to reflect on what you believe is most important in that moment in time. Both use the theme of time to get the reader to think about the deeper meaning of time, and how and when it is possible to stop and think about the present and what lies ahead.

Prompt 15

Before meditation today, my tree did not look very lively. I have been stressed, tired, and have not had much enthusiasm. It is hard with the busy days that we all have to focus on myself and make sure that my inner self is as healthy as it could be. During todays meditation I stepped outside of myself and looked at my tree from a distance. Honestly, I think it would of been a very pathetic looking tree, because I think I am drained in all different ways. After being able to think of what I wished my "tree" looked like I was able to think about what I need to do to be able to get my strength back and have the stress disappear. This I don't think can happen right away but I can try to not procrastinate and do my best and put all the effort in that is possible. I want to be able to look at my tree from a distance and be pleased with everything that I have done and have a strong and stable tree.

Honors Prompt 4

Monday's meditation was not very successful for me. This whole day was fairly long and things just were not really going my way. Coming home all I could think about was how much work I have to complete before going to sleep, which was the only thing on my mind. After dinner I realized would be the only time where I had a chance of focusing in on mediation. I tried to have all my thoughts leave my head about school, soccer, and all the college stuff I have to complete but all this junk would not leave my head. I tried using a mantra and it did not work. I sit here still just as anxious and frustrated as when I sat on my floor with a straight spine, and long neck. Maybe trying to meditate before coming to school would help my day move smoother than waiting till the end when all I have is built up tension.

Prompt 14

Sunday afternoon I awoke and felt like I had gotten no sleep. When I opened my backpack to try to start homework it felt like it was going to be near impossible to sit down with out my eye lids slowly force themselves shut. I shut my computer to try restorative yoga. Normally in class this is very hard for me because I normally drink coffee in the morning, so I get kind of antsy. Before this I had no coffee and laid there still and motionless. Not even finding a mantra I dropped in and was able to lay still for a little over ten minutes. I felt tired and hungry after my meditating, so I went downstairs for some food and finally coffee. Upon my return I could feel my body more awake and being able to respond better and faster. I think this was one of the first and successful times that I have done restorative yoga!

Prompt 13

I meditated on saturday before I went to Portsmouth Abbey. Waking up I was really not looking forward to going that distance to not play in the game. I went downstairs to eat breakfast then came back up into my room to do some meditation. I had a lot of negative energy so I focused on my breaths and I made sure to use numbers and counting as my mantra. I started with alternate nostril breathing, but it became a little bit difficult so I switched to breathing for five on the inhale and eight on the exhale. This calmed me down as I stood up to leave for my game.

Prompt 12

What is "I"?

I am behind the eye that seeks perfection.

I is the inner self while the eye looks out to the world.

I love country music, eye hates the country.

I like my blackberry, eye hates the glare from the screen.

I hate flying, eye loves new unfamiliar places.

I am bad at writing poems, eye likes reading poems.

I should be made up of the dynamic duo of

I and eye.

Prompt 11

Behavioral Samskaras

• I listen to country music whenever I am in a bad mood.
• I depend on coffee to wake me up
• I where the same rings every day, and if they aren't there I start to get fidgety.
• I set my pillows up the same way every night.
• I have my phone with me basically everywhere I go.
• I am very impatient

Thought Samskaras

• I am hungry
• I won't succeed
• I can't live up to peoples expectations
• COLLEGE
• I could of worked harder

Prompt 10

Indonesia compares to India because she finally starts to let go of everything that was tying her down from being "free". Spiritually she is in a more stable place from learning different forms of meditation from India and Indonesia. On page 314 Liz has a conversation with Ketut and he asks her:

"You still meditate with your four brothers like I teach you?"

"Yes"

"You still meditate like your Guru in India teach you?"

"Yes"

"You have bad dreams anymore?"

"No"

"You happy now with God"..."Yes". This finally shows that she learned something and took long strides from her first, long tedious days of meditating. Emotionally I think that Felipe helps her find love again. After having two bad relationships it was a breath of fresh air for her to find a man that wont leave her and has a different kind of vision of love. He compares it to the love for his kids. Psychologically she has taken leaps and bounds because she is able to keep her head centered in one place. There are not as many conversations that Liz has between herself and her mind which was one of the examples of her literary techniques that she uses when trying to show instability. The writing is more positive I feel like, and she doesn't complain half as much as she did in India and Italy. There is never a point in time where you can't grow more. "Yes- Grow! Change! Evolve!" says Felipe.

Prompt 9

I really liked the part on page 246 where Ketut wife says " I could feel her love pulsing through her power grip, right up into my arm and all the way down into my guts. Then she dropped my hand and limped away arthritically, saying not a single word, continuing her sweeping as though nothing had happened. While I stood there quietly drowning in two rivers of happiness at the same time."I like this because there are times when you can sense the love and feelings that two people feel for each other just by a touch of a hand. When he talks he talks about how the last time Liz visited Indonesia she looked old, stressed, and ugly and how now that she has dealt with the divorce and trying to move on with her life and live more in the present, she looks pretty and young. This seemed like words of a yogic/ medicine doctor.

Prompt 8

Richard is trying to tell Elizabeth Gilbert the stop thinking about her negative thoughts and just focus on the positive. He believes that you can pick and choose what goes through your mind. I think that this means she can have a mantra that will tame her mind in a way to stop thinking about outside thoughts that can lead her back to her unhappy days. I tend to have a mind that is all over the place and thinking about many different things at one point in time. To control my thoughts it might be a good idea for me to focus deeply into the one thing that I am doing in the present, and not think about everything else that needs to be done. Maybe having my own personal saying such as "Emily focus" could work. But honestly I feel like this wouldn't work because if I tell myself to not think of something, I know I will. Doing/ thinking what your not supposed to be thinking about makes it more appealing to think that thing. It is like that mind game where you aren't suppose to think of something then your brain automatically thinks of what your not suppose to be thinking about.

Honors Prompt 3

In most of the books that I have read in and out of school, not many of them use conversation between the writer and the writers mind. I really liked this technique that Elizabeth Gilbert uses because it helps the reader be able to go more in depth and understand how the reader is feeling. For example on page 148 she says "I'm right here. It's OK. I love you. I ill never leave you...". We know from this that Gilbert needs the reassurance of her mind to help her get through certain hurtles in her life. Gilbert also uses a lot of metaphors and similes which I liked because it really changes up the sentence structure. In the future I feel like this all will help my writing be more descriptive than it was in the past. Descriptive writing helps the reader stay more engaged in the story line. Another technique is show not tell, Gilbert doesn't always use this, but instead of flat out saying what she is feeling she uses other literary devices to let us know what is going on.

Prompt 7

Last day of sophomore year was so exciting. I had just completed my first year at a new school and I was looking forward to spending a summer with my new friends. After a couple days of doing nothing but lying by a pool my mom reminded me that it was time to pack for the National Young Leader Conference. I had been invited to this conference during the winter and it seemed like a good way to immerse myself in a environment that I didn't know much about. Politics, history, and debate have never been very interesting to me/ I didn't know much about. This conference in Washington D.C. seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to learn more about topics I did not really know much about. About 300 teens from all over the United States gathered in D.C. for 2 weeks for this amazing opportunity. Upon my arrival I was in complete shock and saw about 299 unfamiliar faces. We broke into our Leadership Groups which consisted for about 15 students. I felt like my mouth was glued shut and it was unable to open because I just felt like I could not carry conversation with any of these other teens. I immediately started comparing myself to the others and felt like I was not as smart as them, not as well rounded, and overall just not as "good" as them. I finished my first 3 days in D.C. in my bed hysterically crying wishing to go home, go to the Vineyard with my family, sleep in my own bed, the list went on and on. One morning I had called a friend from home and she told me to think about where I was, the opportunity I had in front of me, the information I could learn, and how I was acting bratty about the whole situation. I finally gave this conference a chance and took everything in a could in my remaining 10 days. I spoke up in all of the discussions and gave my input, I made friends from states I never thought people lived in, and learned so much from every experience I was offered. Coming from Newton, MA, having a private school education, I never realized that my mind was contained by a bubble in a way. All the people I met in D.C. gave me different prospectives on life and how fortunate I am. Next time I am in a situation like this, I know to embrace it from the start. My one regret about this was being so close minded the first four days of the conference.

Prompt 6

I like this definition of a soul mate. In todays society everybody thinks that your "soul mate" is the person that you are going to be with for your whole life. This section of the book gives Elizabeth a reality check and that everyones life isn't picture perfect and every girl can't walk away with a happily ever after. I personally do not know if I have had any soul mates that have entered my life. But I have learned something different from every person that I have gotten to know. Life would be boring and pointless if you never faced disappointment or if you weren't faced with challenges. People entering and leaving your life I think does happen for a reason because each individual has something to share and knowledge to be spread. When friends/ soul mates come into your life they can some times see beneath the surface of certain things that you don't see yourself. Those people are there to tell you the truth and be there as a "mirror" like Richard says. They can act as a conscience, help lead you down a better path, or teach you certain lessons you wouldn't learn on your own from their life experiences.

Prompt 5

Yoga today was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Starting out with the downward dog kinda hurt my arms but I felt a good stretch in my calves. When all the blood rushed to my head it made me start to feel dizzy but that slowly faded away as we transitioned into other poses. I liked the lunge like pose when you put your arm in a triangle around your hip area. I liked the tree pose at the end. I love trying to balance and focus all my thoughts on one motionless area of the room and try to stand as still as possible. Once the yoga session was over and we laid on the ground for the last three minutes, this was the first time that I was able to focus on my breathing, and just my breathing. I forgot about everything that was going on outside of the classroom and felt everything relax and refocus.

Honors Prompt 2

Right as I wrapped the blanket around my stomach I closed my eyes like every other time we started to meditate. Like usual I felt my body have random twitches starting at my hand then move slowly towards my toes. I am normally kind of an antsy person so it is very hard for me to sit down in silence and just focus on my breathing. Towards the end I was slowly able to feel my body sink into the ground and let my stressful thoughts slowly drift in and out of my mind. After the restorative yoga I felt very tired. There wasn't a very noticeable change in my mood or my fatigue. But my focus was better. I was able to listen to everything that our soccer coach said during that afternoons practice.

Honors Prompt 1

On page 64 the first paragraph I really liked. Liz is talking about the lunch that she had made for her self. Something about the description of the food and the way that it ties back to Italy and where she is this time in her life. I can picture what the plate looked liked. I picture it on a not very sturdy plate but filled with so much food that she has to work to keep everything centered. She says "Happiness inhabited my every molecule". I loved this line it made me think back to a time or a place where I was so happy that nothing else could faze my mind. I can so vividly picture her sitting there on the floor in a studio apartment eating lonesomely. The comfort food that my mom makes those cold winter nights will always make me happy when I place that empty dish in the sink.

Prompt 4

The plane starts to move and I begin my normal ritual. I close my eyes as tight as possible, wrap my arms around the person next to me, and whisper songs under my breath.

Me: I’m going to close my eyes and whisper at the start of take off to center myself.

Mind: No, open your eyes and watch the view it will be soothing.

Me: Shut up, I don’t like seeing us leave the ground. I’m closing my eyes to think of something safe and comforting.

Mind: Think of a hot tropical island!

Me: No, that reminds me of the ocean and ocean speaks to me like an terrifying mass of nothing.

Mind: Think of a nice infinity pool!

Me: NO! Planes can crash in the water, you always hear of private planes crashing in water.

Mind: Fine, think about the amazing place that will be at your feet when the plane touches the ground once again.

Me: Florida? That has water? A beach? That doesn’t help the planes crashing in water image. Let me be so I can close my eyes and sing my happy song.

Mind: That’s it! Peace! Think of the song, you know about world peace!

Me: Not world peace. I want my body to be in peace. Please leave me alone.

Mind: Fine we will just leave the plane.

Me: Hello? You still there? Good… (Start whispering song).

Prompt 3

In the morning I never really feel stressed or worked up so it was a little more difficult to feel a difference from this mornings meditation. When lying on my back I felt my body kind of sink into the ground, which probably meant that I was becoming more relaxed and loosening my muscles. It was also a little difficult to make sure that my breaths were equal lengths while breathing in and out because I don't really have a normal breathing length. The lifting my abs up and lengthening my spine I am slowly starting to get but I tend to forget to breath when I am trying to pay attention to other things with my body.

Prompt 2

So far I have enjoyed Wat, Pray, Love. I have heard great things about this book so I was really looking forward to reading this book. I have not seen the movie either. I have never been to Italy so I have really liked the first part of the book and hearing about the food that she eats and her personal thoughts about being alone and taking such a life changing trip. Her love for food and eating anything reminds me of myself. I find it amusing when she talks to herself and uses her conscience to help us feel what she is feeling.

My favorite quote of the book so far is: page 27 "You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that its like you have four legs, instead of two. That way you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head you must look through your heart instead."

Prompt 1

I hope after this class I can gain more knowledge about yoga and meditation. The books that we are reading this year sound like they will be interesting and have a lot of information to learn from.