The plane starts to move and I begin my normal ritual. I close my eyes as tight as possible, wrap my arms around the person next to me, and whisper songs under my breath.
Me: I’m going to close my eyes and whisper at the start of take off to center myself.
Mind: No, open your eyes and watch the view it will be soothing.
Me: Shut up, I don’t like seeing us leave the ground. I’m closing my eyes to think of something safe and comforting.
Mind: Think of a hot tropical island!
Me: No, that reminds me of the ocean and ocean speaks to me like an terrifying mass of nothing.
Mind: Think of a nice infinity pool!
Me: NO! Planes can crash in the water, you always hear of private planes crashing in water.
Mind: Fine, think about the amazing place that will be at your feet when the plane touches the ground once again.
Me: Florida? That has water? A beach? That doesn’t help the planes crashing in water image. Let me be so I can close my eyes and sing my happy song.
Mind: That’s it! Peace! Think of the song, you know about world peace!
Me: Not world peace. I want my body to be in peace. Please leave me alone.
Mind: Fine we will just leave the plane.
Me: Hello? You still there? Good… (Start whispering song).
Em i 100% understand your fear of planes. I HATE THEM!!! they scare me soo much that i have to take meds before i can get on one. So i get your struggle with planes and the want to open your eyes and look but the fear of looking with freak you out.
ReplyDeleteSince I have had a personal experience of your, lets say, less desirable intention to get on an airplane, I completely know what you mean :) I love the part when you say: "Me: No, that reminds me of the ocean and ocean speaks to me like an terrifying mass of nothing." I love the slight personification, as well as how you describe your vision of an ocean, well when you are on a plane at least! Great job, I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI loved the part about water and how you started off talking about how you hate the water then your mind said how about the place you'll land, which was florida, and still has water. But I understand you're fear of planes, my biggest fear before take-off is that something bad will happen but then I'm happy again after it lands.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the part at the end when you were checking to see if your mind is there, although i may not have the same fear of planes, i can relate to how sometimes the mind can annoy you.
ReplyDeleteI could relate to that feeling of anxiety you had right before the plane took off. Sometimes I have that too. it was interesting how at the end you wanted to make sure your , "mind," was still there.
ReplyDeleteAh that anxiety feeling is the worst! And how when you are anxious or scared every little thing reminds you of something scary and doesn't help! You also tend to think of all the negatives in situations like this. I love the ending when you go back to just whispering your song!
ReplyDeleteI can't directly relate to the feeling of anxiety that you have while flying but I do know how much it effects you. "No, that reminds me of the ocean and ocean speaks to me like an terrifying mass of nothing." This line was so beautiful and put exactly how you feel into words. Great job my little latcher.
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